One major dream killer is lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem. Youth of today now turn to destructive means like drugs and alcohol to boost their self-confidence. Unfortunately, when the effects of these things (drugs and alcohol) wear off, they are back to zero point which makes them more depressed and emotionally unstable.

As an individual, learning to love yourself seems difficult but it's one of the simplest of tasks on Earth. What is Self-confidence ? I won't bore you with dictionary meaning of self-confidence. Instead I will define it by using everyday scenarios and experiences.

Self-confidence is your own personal ability to see yourself as a universal success when the whole world has seemingly predicted you as a colossal failure; Self-confidence means being able to stand up for yourself and speak up if you are not happy with a decision.

Self-confidence means standing up for what is right in your office when you feel cheated by an antagonistic boss or colleague I can elaborate extensively about the definition(s) of our subject matter but what is most important is learning positive ways of boosting your self-confidence.

Boosting your self-confidence may on the surface seem easy, but how you go about it is crucial. Many people boost their self-confidence by antagonising others, while some boost theirs by feeding off from negative emotions (fear, anxiety, panic, depression, low self-esteem, etc) of their fellow human beings. If you find yourself in such situation, it's not too late.

Yes, there is hope for you! Below are different ways you can improve your self-confidence positively;

Love Yourself Totally: Most people find it difficult to love themselves completely. As Humans, there is always something about us that we see a flaw which makes us think we are incomplete. Example, someone who is vertically challenged (short in height) will wish he/she were tall, hence his/her inability to play basketball.

Another person who suffers from a stammer is likely to wish that he/she can speak eloquently, hence the reason why he/she may not be keen to socialize. But I need you to understand the fact that our flaws are also our strengths, if only we will learn to use it this and stop seeing it as a weakness. Love Yourself Totally.

You want your partner, family and friends to love you for who you are, then you just have to accept yourself the way you are. Don't go out of your way to help others so they can love you.

You may feel worse if your kindness and help is not reciprocated.

Always Try to Be Optimistic: Be Optimistic. Think Positively. Try to avoid seeing problems and be a solution provider instead.

Always look on the good side of life. Christmas is once a year but you can make it an everyday affair in a creative way. Be that one person that is always happy and grinning even in a depressing situation.

Don't ever give room to negative thoughts and emotions. Dissociate yourself from people with negative thoughts and vibes. Do you have groups of friends who are always gloomy and grumpy? You will also end up being a cranky and moody person.

Always try to be a “ray of sunshine”. Take Care of Yourself: Your Physical Health is also crucial for a positive self-confidence. Avoid stress, Eat Regularly (not junk food please!), Exercise well, Avoid drugs and alcohol, Sleep appropriately, go on short picnics if taking vacation is not possible at the moment, take a short walk to the park.

Celebrate your successes

Enjoy the small pleasurable moments in life Learn To Celebrate Your Successes no matter how small they are. Don't belittle or downgrade it. Go to the movies with your friends following a successful presentation at work, take your partner out on a date for celebrating small successes;

Always Speak Positively: There is power in the tongue. And the words we speak are powerful, so learn to speak positively. Think it. And Speak It.

Use your words to control your situations and make them work to your advantage

 Set Daily Goals: Don't start your day without any aim or goal. Plan your day. Ensure you have daily targets. There are 24 hours in a day, don't let time go to waste. Utilize it. Be Determined: Don't ever give up. Don't relent.

Stay Focused. Always be Determined. Don't be discouraged by unavoidable antagonists and negative people. Shut Down Your Inner Critic: That small tiny voice in our head will always have something negative to say. Why can't it just mind its business? Learn to shut it down and don’t give it airtime. For me, I've imprinted the word 'NO' in my heart. Once that inner voice of doubt starts, I shout NO. I even go as far as screaming it out. Some people think I'm insane but it works for me. You can use the same technique or adapt yours, but what is most important is shutting that tiny voice down.

Evaluate Yourself Daily/Weekly: Constant Evaluation helps you to stay focus and on track. Evaluate every aspect of your life; your career, your relationship/marriage, your education, etc. By engaging in constant evaluation, you will discover where you've been slacking and need to up your game. Don't Mourn Your Mistakes And Failures: Don't waste time mourning your mistakes and failures, instead learn lessons from it and move on to your next challenge. A mistake is only a moment in time, you don’t need to re-live them.

Avoid Comparison: Try as much as possible to avoid comparing yourself with others. Believe it or not, there will always be someone out there who will be far better than you. Be yourself. Always Smile And Make Gentle Eye Contact With People: Put a Smile on your face, no matter the condition or situation. Make Eye Contact With People. (Not hostile Eye Contact Please). Making Eye contact with people gives a sense of warmth about you and also shows that you know what you are doing. It will also let people know that you have a sense of confidence around you.

Have A Backup Plan Always: Try to have a backup plan for everything. You can always fall back on your Plan B when there is crisis. This will allow you to adapt to changing circumstances.

Forget About the Past: Ghost, issues and wounds from the past may trap you and give you low self esteem. Dealing with it will let you move on and encourage confidence in yourself. Don't run away from the past. Deal with the issues, learn from them and then close them off to forget.


Garry Wasson Director of Excel Self Defence Pty.Ltd.